This is part of the Kernel Recipes 2025 blog series.
I have been consciously working on speaking skills for more than half a century. This section lists a few of the experiences along the way. My hope is that this motivates you to take the easier and faster approaches laid out in the rest of this blog series.
Comic Relief
A now-disgraced comedian who was immensely popular in the 1960s was said to have learned his craft at school. They said that he discovered that if he could make the schoolyard bullies laugh, they would often forget about roughing him up. I tried the same approach, though with just barely enough success to persist. Part of my problem was that I spent most of my time focusing on academic skills, which certainly proved to be a wise choice longer term, but did limit the time available to improve my comedic capabilities. I was also limited by my not-so-wise insistence on taking myself too seriously. Choices, choices!
My classmates often told very funny jokes, and I firmly believed that making up jokes was a cognitive skill, and I just as firmly believed (and with some reason) that I was a cognitive standout. If they could do it, so could I!!!
But for a very long time, my jokes were extremely weak compared to theirs.
Until one day, I told a joke that everyone laughed at. Hard. For a long time. (And no, I do not remember that joke, but then again, it was a joke targeted towards seventh graders and you most likely are not in seventh grade.)
Once they recovered, one of them asked “What show did you see that on?”
Suddenly the awful truth dawned on me. My classmates were not making up these jokes. They were seeing them on television, and rushing to be the first to repeat them the next day. Why was this not obvious to me? Because my family did not have a television.
My surprise did not prevent me from replying “The Blank Wall”. Which was the honest truth: I had in fact been staring at a blank wall the previous evening while composing my first successful joke.
The next day, my classmates asked me what channel “The Blank Wall” was on. I of course gave evasive answers, but in a few minutes they figured out that I meant a literal blank wall. They were not impressed with my attitude. You saw jokes on television, after all, and no one in their right mind would even try to make one up!
I also did some grade-school acting, though my big role was Jonathan Brewster in a seventh-grade production of “Arsenic and Old Lace” rather than anything comedic. The need to work prevented my acting in any high-school plays, though to be fair it is not clear that my acting abilities would have kept up with those of my classmates in any case.
Besides, those working in retail can attest that carefully deployed humor can be extremely useful. So my high-school grocery-store job likely provided me with more and better experience than the high-school plays could possibly have done. At least that is what I keep telling myself!
Speech Team
For reasons that were never quite clear to me, the high-school speech-team coach asked me to try out. I probably would have ignored her, but I well recalled my father telling me that those who have nothing to say, but can say it well, will often do better than those who have something to say but cannot say it. So, against my better 13-year-old judgment, I signed up.
I did quite well in extemporaneous speech during my first year due to my relatively deep understanding of the science behind the hot topic of that time, namely the energy crisis. During later years, the hot topics reverted to the usual political and evening-news fare, so the remaining three years were good practice, but did not result in wins. Until the end of my senior year, when the coach suggested that I try radio commentary, which had the great advantage of hiding my horribly geeky teenaged face from the judges. I did quite well, qualifying for district-level competition on the strength of my first-ever radio-commentary speech.
But I can only be thankful that my 17-year-old self decided to go to an engineering university as opposed to seeking employment at a local radio station.
University Coursework
I tested out of Freshman English Composition, but I did take a couple of courses on technical writing and technical presentation. A ca. 1980 mechanical-engineering presentation on ground-loop heat pumps featured my first use of cartoons in a technical presentation, courtesy of a teammate who knew a professional cartoonist. The four of us were quite proud of having kept the class’s attention during the full duration of our talk, which took place only a few days before the start of Christmas holidays.
1980s and 1990s Presentations
I did impromptu work-related presentations for my contract-programming work in the early 1980s. In the late 1980s, I joined a research institute where I was expected to do formal presentations, including at academic venues. I joined a startup in 1990, where I continued academic presentations, but focused mainly on internal training presentations.
Toastmasters
I became a founding member of a local Toastmasters club in 1993, and during the next seven years received CTM (“Competent Toastmaster) and ATM (“Advanced Toastmaster”) certifications. There is very likely a Toastmasters club near you, and you can search here: https://www.toastmasters.org/.
The purpose of Toastmasters is to help people develop public-speaking skills in a friendly environment. The members of the club help each other, evaluating each others’ short speeches and providing topics for even shorter impromptu speeches. The CTM and ATM certifications each have a manual that guides the member through a series of different types of speeches. For example, the 1990s CTM manual starts with a 4-6-minute speech in which the member introduces themselves. This has the benefit of ensuring that the speaker is expert on the topic, though I have come across an amnesiac who was an exception that proves this rule.
For me, the best of Toastmasters was “table topics”, in which someone is designated to bring a topic to the next meeting. The topic is called out, and people are expected to volunteer to give a short speech (a minute or two) on that topic. This is excellent preparation for those times when someone calls you out during a meeting.
Benchmarking
By the year 2000, I felt very good about my speaking ability. I was aware of some shortcomings, for example, I had difficulty with audiences larger than about 100 people, but was doing quite well, both in my own estimation and that of others. In short, it was time to benchmark myself against a professional speaker.
In that year, I attended an event whose keynote was given by none other than one of the least articulate of the US Presidents, George H. W. Bush. Now, Bush’s speaking abilities might have been unfairly compared to the larger-than-life capabilities of his predecessor (Ronald Reagan, AKA “The Great Communicator”) and his successor (Bill Clinton, whose command of people skills is the stuff of legends). In contrast, here is Ann Richards’s assessment of Bush’s skills: “born with a silver foot in his mouth”.
As noted above, I had just completed seven years in Toastmasters, so I was more than ready to do a Toastmasters-style evaluation of Bush’s keynote. I would record all the defects in this speech and email it to my Toastmasters group for their amusement.
Except that it didn’t turn out that way.
Bush gave a one-hour speech during which he did everything that I knew how to do, and did it effortlessly. Not only that, there were instances where he clearly expected a reaction from the audience, and got that reaction. I was watching him like a hawk the whole time and had absolutely no idea how he had made it happen.
Bush might well have been the most inarticulate of the US Presidents, but he was incomparably better than this software developer will ever be.
But that does not mean that I cannot continue to improve. In fact, I can now do a better job of presenting that Bush can. Not just due to my having spent the intervening decades practicing (practice makes perfect!), but mostly due to the fact that Bush has since passed away.
I joined the Linux community in 2001, where I faced large and diverse audiences. It quickly became obvious that I needed to apply my youthful Warner Brothers lessons, especially given that I was presenting things like RCU to audiences that were mostly innocent of any knowledge of or experience in concurrency.
This experience also gave me much-needed practice dealing with larger audiences, in a few cases, on the order of 1,000.
So I continue to improve, but there is much more for me to learn.